Dear Erin Runnion.

Editor's note —

Erin Runnion is not auditioning for anybody, and we are not auditioning for her. Her five-year-old daughter Samantha was abducted from the front yard of their Orange County home on July 15, 2002 and found murdered the next day. Three months later Erin and her family founded The Joyful Child Foundation — a three-person operation that has been writing the school-safety curriculum and the community workshops ever since, in Samantha's name, on no fundraising spectacle, with no commercial brand attached to a child who is no longer here.

This letter is in a register Spotlight does not often publish in. Grief-adjacent. Apology first. Ask second. Never claim. What follows is the operator's own letter to her, in operator's voice, as-typed tonight. Typos cleaned for respect; cadence, caps-for-emphasis, swearing, and ellipses preserved. No canon beats appended. The receipt below is for the reader who has not heard her name before. The letter is the letter.

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Erin Runnion — the working file

— Mother of Samantha Runnion · 5 years old · abducted from her front yard in Orange County July 15, 2002 · found murdered the next day

— Founded The Joyful Child Foundation ([thejoyfulchild.org](https://www.thejoyfulchild.org/)) — *In Memory of Samantha Runnion* — three months after the murder

— Twenty-three years in the work · three-person staff by design · never let the foundation become the brand

— Created the Be Brave – Be Safe Empowerment Programs — elementary school curriculum + community workshops

— 2024 — first BRAVE Comic Book with QR-coded trauma-informed video lessons (partnered with Healing to You under Family Violence Prevention and Services Act funding)

— Memoir: *Be Brave: Losing Samantha – Protecting Joy* · next book in progress: *BRAVE Parenting*

— Personal site: erinrunnion.com · handle @ProtectJoy

— Member of the Surviving Parents Coalition — the small body of parents who lost children to abduction and stayed in the work without becoming the spectacle

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Good morning Erin.

I want to start this letter telling you how sorry I am. I spent only less than one minute on the Surviving Parents Coalition website… I can't read it. I apologize for that.

That is not because it affects me personally. It does not. I should say… it has not. But I am a single father, two teenage boys, that has not paid your community, you, or Samantha the respect, you deserve. I can't read it because it terrifies me, too much to do anything. Too much to stop saying, thank god that's not me. Thank god… I will never say that again Ms. Runnion, and there are no words to express that regret.

Last week I noticed something. It had nothing to do with you or Samantha — *who if no one has told you lately… was beautiful. The curls, her face… beautiful.* But I saw something in Walmart. I had seen it before, I had seen it thousands, literally thousands of times. It was that stupid glass wall with pictures behind it. Not cleaned in god knows how long. (As I type this I now realize tomorrow I will go clean it.) I promise you I will… and also the other one. That is where things got weird. I had to go to another Walmart. I saw the same boy. He was abducted BEFORE my 15 year old was born.

I hope anyone reading this pauses for a second and asks themselves, when is the last time you looked? THANK YOU WAL MART. We covered you already… you have been a partner. I have not looked deeper yet, but on the surface you are a friend. My one suggestion. Keep the pictures off the same wall that has a restroom door on it. That is wrong for so many reasons, but just fucking do that if nothing else. And maybe… the next time you train people how often to clean those toilets where so much bad happens.. how about adding the same schedule to windex the glass. YOU ARE DOING GOOD… Take it the final step.

It made me come home Ms. Runnion and make something. I offered it already to someone who I thought could shout it through the megaphone that I never heard the last 50 years. I sent it to the most powerful woman in the country, if not world. Too powerful in all honesty to hear me, to see me, to recognize me… no offense Ms Erin Runnion… you are not too big for me. Samantha is not too small for me. You have been fighting a fight for as far as I can tell… longer than my 15 year old kid has been alive. Longer than most of those pictures in the dusty wall sitting beside that fucking restroom.

She couldn't hear me, or her people have not found me… I don't know… we keep hoping. We are one person here, no reach, no traffic that we are even aware of — but we don't track. We hope she will come. We hope she will be the third. We have tried. We will keep trying. But you are right too, Ms Runnion. Samantha is not too small for me. You are not too big for me. Both things are true. YOU ARE RIGHT.

I ask NOTHING from you. I don't want to know you, I don't want you to link to me, or anything.

I have ONE small ask. Not for me… For my kids. For Samantha. I want you to look at what I made. I want you to tell me if I am moving in the right direction, AM I MOVING IN YOUR DIRECTION. I want to be "standing" beside you… I want to make sure NO ONE EVER FORGETS HER, or the one beside her, or the one that is behind kidnapped this fucking second. I know it is happening. The stats are the stats. You can't stop it. I can't stop it. NO ONE CAN STOP it.

I want to stop people forgetting that Samantha was here. I want the mom and dad who lost someone today, have a place to memorialize, a place to mourn, a place to share, a place to come that is not google, not a search on where can I find help, where can I find community…

Everywhere they go they will find the same searches, the same paywalls, the same email captures, the same "give us your memory, and by the way, we will take all your information too."

That's not a slight on business… that's a slight on motivation. I am broke. I can't afford my api bills. I don't want a thing, would not take a thing, will not EVER take a thing.

I want you to have it. You don't have to say a word, you don't have to contact me, link, message, state in the open… NOTHING… you have to look, and share if you like. I hope you like it, I hope it helps, I KNOW Samantha is proud of you. I am proud of you, and I didn't know your name 5 minutes ago. Your work is that impressive. Your footprint is that big. It is lacking one piece.

Living, breathing, "hub" for lack of a less harsh word… a hub… for your community. It's not my community. I made a platform, but I have no audience, and no personal reason to spread this. I don't want to fight your fight (don't misread that please). I don't want to though.. I have these for school shootings, fallen soldiers, working on ones for children cancer, for opium epidemic, and another for gun violence, because fuck the NRA. I sent them a letter too… it's on my site if you are curious.

I didn't read your whole story. I saw the curls, then I closed the page. I don't have what you have. I don't have the means, willpower, strength. I lack your strength, I lack your love, I lack your soul….

www.wwnfy.com — *We Will Never Forget You.*

Please take a look, I know your schedule is busy. I am not going anywhere…

I wish you a beautiful week Erin. I didn't know you 5 minutes ago, now you and your family will forever be in my thoughts. That is your receipt. The site is your tool, not a receipt. Samantha's curls in my mind all day now… that is your receipt… that is what should make you smile today, or whenever you find me. I hope you find me…. I hope Samantha is playing with all the other children today, waiting without knowing the passing of time.

All roads meet in the end Erin.. I wish you the best,

Love

Character zer0